The Dumbest Things You Heard Anyone Say In School

Started by czn030, December 11, 2010, 12:19:15 PM

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The Dumbest Things You Heard Anyone Say In School

– Religion teacher: "Let us all close our eyes and sing,'Open Our Eyes Lord'."
– Teacher: "When the odds are against me...I will against them!"
– Our teacher showed us a picture of a dog then asked: "Class, what breed is this dog? Japanese Speech or Cocker Spaniard?"
– Our teacher once said: "Okey sinong mga absent, itaas ang kamay!"
– Teacher: "It happened both in the 1st and 2nd World War II."
– Our teacher once said: "If I catch you cheating, I will give you additional minus!"
– We asked our teacher who just came from vacation: "Sir, kelan kayo bumalik?" His answer: "Bukas!"
– Prof in hydrology: "Malls now are using waterless urine!" (waterless urinals)
– We asked our music teacher: "Can you differentiate major and minor chords?" She answered: "Yes you can, they're different."
– Teacher: "Get one whole sheet of pad paper." Classmate: "Ma'am, crosswise or lengthwise?"
– During an exam our prof said: "Time's up! Come to me, papers!"
– After singing our Alma Mater song, a classmate asked our teacher: "Ma'am sino ba si Alma Mater?" Our teacher answered: "Si Madam Principal."
– Our math teacher entered the classroom and said: "Get out...get out...", so we started exiting one by one. Then he said: "Where are you going?" We answered: "Sir, you said get out." He said angrily: "I wasn't finished! I was going to say, get out your calculators!"
– Teacher: "Class, you know jumping jack? You know, you open the box and jack will jump?"
– A classmate asked our teacher: "Ma'am, namamana po ba ang pagka-baog?"
– Teacher: "Spell orange." Classmate: "Sir, yung color o yung fruit?"
– Early Monday, our teacher barged into our classroom: "Sinong naglagay ng munggo sa aquarium? Ayan, puro toge!!!"
– Our English teacher told us: "Today we will only speak English. Maliwanag?"
– A classmate told me: "Ay ang cute ng mga sintas mo, luminou!" I corrected her: "Luminous!" She said: "Ay, oo nga pala, plural..."
– Our teacher asked us to bring colored puto. So the next day, we all bought from Goldilocks their colored puto. Our teacher was so angry. He yelled: "I said bring colored puto! Colored putograp!"
– Teacher: "Class we have a spelling exam today." Classmate: "Ma'am, wrong spelling wrong?"
– Teacher: "Class give me an example of a tag question." Classmate: "Teacher is beautiful, isn't she?" Teacher: "VERY GOOD! Okay, sa Tagalog naman." Classmate: "Si Ma'am maganda, hindi naman diba?"
– Teacher: "The classroom is so dirty! Get a broom and broom the room!" (kumuha ka ng walis at walisin mo ang silid)
– Teacher: "What do you call a person who keeps on talking even when people are no longer interested?" Classmate: "A teacher?" Ayun, instant quiz.
– Teacher: "May piraso ako ng baboy, hinati ko sa dalawa. At bawat piraso hinati ulit sa dalawa. At bawat piraso hinati ulit sa dalawa ng 16 pang beses.  Meron akong..." Classmate: "Ma'am giniling!"
– During a cultural program, our teacher gave instructions: "Lahat ng lalaki magbabahag! Kahit anong kulay, basta red!"
– We were grouping ourselves into 6 groups, but group 6 was incomplete. Our teacher with a heavy accent asked: "O, sino pang gustong sumali sa group sex?"
– In our marketing class, our teacher gave an example of a product warning: "Cigarette is bad for smoking."
– Teacher: "Sinong may alam ng sagot sa equation na ito?" Classmate: "Ma'am kayo!"
– Teacher: "Class, anong kaibahan ng 69 sa 6.9?" Student: "Ma'am yung 6.9 mas kadiri kasi may period."

"The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people".


Leo C.

Teacher:  "Gilbert, sino pumatay kay Jose Rizal?"
Gilbert:  "Aba po Ma'am, hindi po ako, wala po ako kinalaman dyan!"

Reaction to a Lizard

This is how students from the various universities in the Philippines would react after seeing a lizard:

UST: Uy, Piticus lizardus!

UP: Ay, butiki!

Ateneo: Eek, lizard!

La Salle: Hey, La Coste!


During Intro to Law class (basically the whole batch around 250 are gathered in one auditorium and the class is held there for the first week of classes).

Prof: Miss *something* (conyo girl), can you please explain the case of Estrada vs. Escritor?

*stands up*

Miss Conyo: Sir, the case is parang... its like parang ano eh. the case is parang about ummm... parang ummm....



In an Industrial Design class, the professor tasked us to design a packaging for a tray of eggs that when dropped from our second-floor building will create the least amount of mess. A classmate galantly stood and  asked: "Sir, pwede ba i-boil muna ung eggs?"
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Haha. Nice thread. Miss those HS days kasi kung ano ano ang mga naiimbento naming salita nun.  :applause:


this was an experience during my engineering course in college before shifting to commerce. I have an Ifugao native classmate who asked our prof a question.

classate: sir! I have a question?

prof: YES!

classmate: If I have a lot property in the right and I have a neighbor on the left and he has an excavator.
                     If I excavate my lot and dump it on his lot. isn't it that is still my lot?


I experienced too the one with "Sinong absent, itaas ang kamay?" Haha. That made us laugh hard. HS memories *SIGH*.

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