Something to lighten up the day Just got this from an e-mail:

ThE PhiLiPPiNeS iS.....

50. where the most happening places is not where the party is. Instead it's
where the gang wars happen, where women strip and where the people overthrow
a president.
49. where even doctors, lawyers and engineers are unemployed.
48. where everyone has his personal ghost story.
47. where mountains like Makiling and Banahaw are considered as holy places.
46. where everything can be forged.
45. where the school is considered the second home and the mall considered
as third.
44. where Starbucks coffee is more expensive than gas.
43. where every street has a basketball court and every town only has one
public school.
42. where all kinds of animals are edible.
41. where people speak all kinds of languages, and still call it Tagalog.
40. where students pay more money than they will earn afterwards.
39. where call center employees earn more money than teachers and nurses.
38. where driving 4kms can take as much as 4hours.
37. where flyovers bring you from the freeway to the side streets.
36. where the tourist spots is where Filipinos do not (or cannot) go.
35. where the personal computer is mainly used for games and Friendster.
34. where all 13 year olds are alcoholic.
33. where colonial mentality is dishonestly denied!
32. where 4am is not even considered bed time yet.
31. where people can pay to defy the law.
30. where everything is spoofed.
29. where even the poverty-stricken get to wear Ralph Lauren and Tommy
Hilfiger!
28. where honking of car horns is a way of life.
27. where being ! called a bum is never offensive.
26. where flood waters take up more than 90 percent of the streets during
the rainy season.
25. where everyone has a relative abroad who keeps them alive.
24. where crossing the street involves running for your dear life.
23. where wearing your national colors make you "baduy".
22. where billiards is a sport, and darts is a bar game.
21. where even the poverty-stricken have the latest cell phones. (gsm-galing
sa magnanakaw)
20. where insurance does not work.
19. where water can only be classified as tap and dirty... clean water is
for sale (35pesos/gallon).
18. where the church governs the people and where the government makes the
people pray for miracles. (AMEN TO THAT!)
17. where University of the Philippines is where all the weird people go.
Ateneo is where all the nerds go. La Salle is where all the Chinese go.
College of Saint Benilde is where all the stupid Chinese go, and
University
of Asia and the Pacific is where all the irrelevantly rich people go.
16. where fastfood is a diet meal.
15. where traffic signs are merely suggestions not regulations.
14. where all the trees in the city are below 6 ft.
13. where being held up is normal. It happens to everyone.
12. where kids dream of becoming pilots, doctors and basketball players.
11. where rodents is a normal house pet.
10. where the definition of traffic is the 'non-movement' of vehicles.
9. where the fighter planes of the 1940's are used for military engagements,
and the new fighter planes are displayed in museums.
8. where Nora Aunor is an acclaimed actress and Boy Abunda is the best talk
show host.
7. where cigarettes and alcohol are a necessity, and where the lottery is a
commodity.
6. where soap operas tell the realities of life and where the news provides
the drama.
5. where actors make the rules and where poli! ticians provide the
entertainment. (kung gusto mo mapikon, watch the news)
4. where finding a deer on the road will be a phenomenon. (may deer dito?
seryoso kayo?)
3. where people can get away with stealing trillions of pesos, but not for a
thousand.
2. where being an hour late is still considered as punctual. (grabe talaga
'to!)
1. where everyone wants to leave the country! (ang saya-saya!)

as a reaction...well, let's just say some things are certainly not unique to us. We're justh e most hilarious and pathetic example because the success of other countries on the macro-scale (like, by stealing oil, colonizing for cheap raw materials and labor, etc.) can mask the realities: there are glaring failures on hte micro-level that are not solved, only hidden, by the overall success. Or that some things are in general universally human.

50. "where the gang wars happen..."
          Uh, Long Beach, CA, anyone?
49.  How about Russia, where even NUKE engineers are unemployed? (so they work in Iran, Iraq, etc, etc)

47. GREECE...Mt. Olympus. Its a Pagan thing, so God ws wise enough to have Christ crucified on a hill, something for Pagans (Gentiles, Romans and Greeks in Particular) to initially identify with.

44. I think this is true in every non-OPEC country. (I think)

42. Uhhh...China? no...Asia? (only Westerners are picky)

40. In the US they have something called "ambulance Chasing"...ergo the lawyers are underemployed.

36. I've heard some time ago that internal tourism on the US is thriving mainly on Spring Break get drunk and get f*cked...ergo, people aren't going to Mt. Rushmore as much.

35. I think every young generation of every nation that has access to video games are addicted to them...but I'm conceding to Friendster.

34. Not true...in Medieval Europe the Beer that tehy have with dinner is stronger than what we drink today. same for Ancient Egypt, the birthplace of beer. And if it wasn't for the Soviets, Russian kids would be handed Vodka instead of clothing.

33. China is currently the highest consumer of US goods, despite all the "One China" rhetoric.

32. The belief that Filipinos are Lazy is because the Spaniards wake up to see farmers resting, then have dinner long after most Filipinos are already asleep. BUT, they wake up at 10am and sleep at 2am. 4am is regarded as such nowadays because more Filipinos have access to transportation and alcohol, as well as college education, and we just LOVE to drink and cram. bad mixxx.....

31. Ever heard of a guy nmed AL CAPONE? (And every American whose name ends in an "i", "o", and sometimes "e")

30. I wish Id say we have real talent for this, sadly, for Bubble Gang the Americans have SNL, and the recent Garcy-GMA music video was preceded by www.jibjab.com.

28. They drive like this in Italy, complete with arms waving in the air, in a traffic jam. The fact of the matter is, traffic jams aren't as common there.

25. Mexico and some other Latin American countries are on the same boat.

22. Isn't dart a bar game in Britain and the US? Bullseye was playing it inside a bar in DD.

21.   wala lang natawa ko kasi totoo e.
       Pero sa US kahit Negro na walang trabaho naka-Escalade..."if its got wheels, we can jack it!"

9. natawa lang ako ulit...totoo e.

7. Di ba vodka pampainit sa Russia? ergo its a necessity. Justified lang nga.

5. BUHAY NGA NAMAN..........

 

This is a work of satire. Have a bit of sense of humor when you read it, and don't take it as a personal attack.
I actually think it was well written.

Quote from: Protege Mania on August 04, 2005, 12:09:27 AM

31. Ever heard of a guy nmed AL CAPONE?

Ever heard of something called a sense of humor?

Dude lighten up. I just said it was something to lighten up the day. If you don't feel like laughing about it, then don't try and spoil the thread

Quote from: R-A-Y on August 04, 2005, 11:09:49 PM
Ever heard of something called a sense of humor?

Dude lighten up. I just said it was something to lighten up the day. If you don't feel like laughing about it, then don't try and spoil the thread

Dude I wasn't striking back, I just didn't want us to get carried away with the humour and forget about a few realities that we need to contend with or remember about other countries. Neither am I saying that "OK lang, di lang naman tayo e", but more of "hey, we're not that far behind".

Like on some things I wrote there...I wasn't jsut commenting, some of them were really funny Id rather not contend against the humour coz it'll be a losing battle.

nice read!!!;)

hehehe ok yun ah... sir R-A-Y san nyo nakuha yung top 50 na yun... anyways all of the 49 statements sums up to the number 1 statement "where everyone wants to leave the country! (ang saya-saya!) "

Those 49 statements are the reasons why statement number "1" happens.

Quote from: Top_Fuel on August 11, 2005, 08:42:31 PM
hehehe ok yun ah... sir R-A-Y san nyo nakuha yung top 50 na yun... anyways all of the 49 statements sums up to the number 1 statement "where everyone wants to leave the country! (ang saya-saya!) "

Those 49 statements are the reasons why statement number "1" happens.

I said I got it from an e-mail